Listen to this poem...

I touched my hand to the chilled glass
as the bus rolled downhill,
bumping me forward as I held
onto the rust colored handle. 

I tried to right myself, away from Her
reflection in the condensation coated windows,
but Her smile made me stop.
It made me think.
She made me feel - 

and my breath left my body.

I touched my fingers to the chilled glass,
clutching the phone to my cheek,
letting a part of me spill from my mouth.
I sat beside the frosted grass that coated the ground
and my fingers went numb.
Waiting as my mother went silent … “are you sure?” -

and my heart sank to the ground. 

I touched my knuckles to the chilled glass
as a I scraped my hand across the table,
realizing it had been in my home as long as I had.
I held my breath as my sister exhaled for me,
letting my father know -

and my lungs filled with air, my heart in my ears.

I looked at my mother, tears in my eyes.
She loves me, she doesn’t know or understand
but she loves -
they all do. 

I touched my hand to my mother’s to my father’s to my sister’s -

and I am warm.

About S. Aanjali Allegakoen

S. Aanjali Allegakoen is a fourth year student at the University of Connecticut, majoring in both American Studies and Human Rights. She hopes to further her career in academia, with a specific focus on South Asian American studies and diasporic formation within the field of Ethnic Studies. Aanjali is passionate about Ethnic Studies and Queer Studies and expanding both fields to be more holistic in their approach to representing racialized and colonized peoples. She loves to write, research, and find new ways of exploring her identities as a young, queer, Sri Lankan-Tamil American woman. Aanjali is currently launching her IDEA Grant funded project, Ninaivu: Memory Archive this April in an effort to catalogue the plurality of the (Eelam/Ilankai/SL) Tamil experience in North America.. Aanjali will be attending the College of William and Mary’s American Studies MA/PhD program this Fall.